Letter To The Editor:
I had some thoughts about your hare-brained scheme about a wide-brimmed hat and a rail-pass and what-not. A hobo doesn't aspire to such finery. If you ride the rails as long as I have, you know all a hobo needs is to follow the Code:
(1) Religious talk gets more food.
(2) Your hobo cup can be used for panhandling, stew, or whiskey, so keep it clean.
(3) Avoid shit-kickin sheriff deputies, they don't take kindly to strangers.
(4) Stealing a pie cooling on a window sill or some eggs from a chicken coop is risky but fortune favors the brave.
(5) Stay away from the artist-types. They drink more than they work, and they aren't much in a fight.
(6) Only a dishonest man has no need for shoes.
I've lived these truths from Baltimore to Alberta and back again. Violate them at your own peril.
-Roy The Hobo
Thank you for your letter. It has always been a dream of mine to exchange correspondence with a fictional character. While I appreciate your concern, I can assure you that my schemes are far more tortoise than hare.
Your tips for train life are also appreciated, but wholly unnecessary. To be clear, I am not now, nor have I ever been a member of the hobo community. I am a gentleman, sir.